I’m Not Hiding

Most of the time, I nurse my son wherever, whenever. I personally don’t care who sees my boobs (just ask anyone I’ve ever been out drinking with…..) and I guarantee, my boy doesn’t either. Just ask him when he decides it’s lots of fun to pull off….latch on. pull off….latch on. pull off…latch on. pullllllllllll off…..laaaaaaatch on. giggle. repeat.

The truth is, as much as the angry sector of the lactavist community is going to have my head for this, sometimes….shhhhh…..I don’t nurse in full view of everyone. (huh! gasp! no!). And it has nothing to do with me being unfortable nursing in public (see “breastfeeding: no one really cares”). It has nothing to do with whether or not anyone else is uncomfortable with me  nursing in public. It has nothing to do with me being ashamed of nursing my toddler.

It has to do with the fact that my little baby boy….is in fact a toddler. A toddler with a less than perfect attention span. A toddler who fancies he sees movement (whether anything in his line of vision has moved or not) and must go check it out now now now. Not in 15 seconds….NOW. And that’s just in my house, where he sees the same thing 1,000 times a day. Can you imagine trying to nurse him in the middle of the mall? More than that, in the mall play area? AT CHRISTMAS?!?! (For the record, I have done that. It  didn’t end successfully….unless you count me flashing a record number of shoppers and their children a “successful” nursing session). The only thing that happens is my boobs are flopping about, my son is no closer to being nourished than he was before the flashing session, and is still kinda whiny about it.

So I am grateful for dressing rooms, nursing lounges (kudos to the san fransisco airport, among other locations, for providing them!), empty banquet rooms and yes, even bathrooms (although I’ll only use a bathroom that has an anteroom with a couch…I refuse to actually nurse my child in the area where people with questionable hygiene are pooping. Because that is not cool. Ever.)

And now I’m going to deviate a little bit. Because I have a new thought that semi-ties in. A friend of mine who read my first blog asked who these angry lactavists were that I was lashing out at. A valid question….that I didn’t entirely have an answer to. Which makes me wonder…who are these angry lactavists? I feel like I keep reading these articles/blogs/what have you on breastfeeding websites and  someone is angry and demanding nurse ins and nurse outs and nurse offs and nurse-a-thons and nurse nurse nurse….yet I can’t seem to find them again. Now this same friend also admitted when we talked about this current blog that she feels guilty sometimes at wanting to find a quiet, private place to nurse her son…that since she is a huge breastfeeding advocate/supporter…hell she is a certified lactation educator and a wonderful birth and postpartum doula (in fact she was mine 🙂 )… is she somehow being disloyal to the cause by wanting privacy? And I knew what she was talking about because I felt that way too. I felt that I have to defend myself for not always nursing on a metophorical jumbo-tron to the point that I’m writing an entire blog about it.

But who are these people I’m defending my choices against? And why do we (“we” meaning all human beings, not just nursing moms…”we” who feel we are being judged for all our choices on a daily basis whether its where to nurse our child or what kind of alcoholic beverage we’d enjoy or anything in between) continue to think that there are people judging us? What does it say about our own psyche’s? Does that mean we are all horrible judgers and fear others thinking the same way we do? What a sad state of affairs we all must dwell in.

Sounds like a good topic for a blog one day……


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Randi
    Jan 03, 2011 @ 00:25:48

    pun intended. I think I am very funny.


  2. Randi
    Jan 03, 2011 @ 00:26:58

    Sincerely, this piece was very well written.


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